


Three Kisses (or... Not Yet, But Soon)

by indiepjones46



Series: First Time Fix-Its [9]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Arguing, Bottom Steve McGarrett, Danny is over it, Drunken Shenanigans, Emotional Constipation, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, Kono has no chill, M/M, Missed Opportunities, More Tags Apply but I'm too tired to think of them, POV Steve McGarrett, Season 1 Episode 7, Season 2 Episode 17, Season 2 Episode 9, Second Kiss, Slash, Top Danny "Danno" Williams, Why am I trying to post this at 2am, Why is Chin always so smart, Yes three episodes of fix its at once, episode tags, steve is a martyr, third kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:52:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8131117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiepjones46/pseuds/indiepjones46
Summary: Six months after meeting Danny Williams for the first time, Steve kisses him. Unfortunately, it takes him another year and half and two more kisses before he finally gets what he wants. Danny.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Do I really have to keep saying it? Don't own or profit from the show and I take no credit for the dialogue directly from the show. There. I said it.
> 
> Beta: Just me. I am an insane person that apparently needs to write gay smut more than she needs to sleep. That's why you should be cool and just ignore any grammatical errors or missing words, especially in the last part.
> 
> Notes:   
> 1\. This story spans across three different episodes, and each part represents each episode. The first part occurs at the end of Season 1 Episode 7, the second part comes from Season 2 Episode 9, and the third part begins at the end of Season 2 Episode 17.   
> 2\. Not sure why, but writing from Steve's POV is always a challenge for me. I can get inside Danny's head much easier, but I enjoy the challenge of trying to do Steve justice.   
> 3\. As I was rewatching the episodes, it really struck me how much thinner Steve looked in S2E17 than he did during S2E9 when Danny lived with him. I decided to use it in my story. It's not intentional weight loss, so I hope there are no triggers in there for anyone.   
> 4\. I don't know. I'm exhausted, and I hope you like it. Mahalo to all you guys that take the time to leave feedback. It really does mean the world to me.

The first time Steve McGarrett kissed Danny Williams was in front of an audience. Granted, they were all drunk off their asses, but still. An audience.

 

_Six months after meeting for the first time…_

Steve buzzed around his place, nervous as fuck about the fact that he was getting ready to host his coworkers for the first time. Hell, it was the first time he had hosted anyone since he had moved back into his father’s house. It still didn’t even feel like his. All of his dad’s things were still there, all the decorations remained unchanged, and the only thing different about the place now that Steve lived there were the uniforms, shirts, pants, and shoes hanging in the closet that made up his minimal wardrobe. As he raced around the house cleaning up the immaculate space, he even had a twinge of guilt for having friends over to his father’s house. He squashed that thought quickly, though. This was Steve’s house now, and it was past time for him to start acting like it.

The past six months after forming the Five-0 had been action-packed, eventful, and incredibly dangerous. His friend from Naval Intelligence, Catherine, had asked him a while back if he missed being in the SEALs. Steve had honestly answered “no.” In fact, heading up the Five-0 was the best of both worlds for him. His job kept his blood pumping, his brain working, and his adrenaline racing, which were all the things he loved about being a SEAL. The best part of Five-0 was that he could turn off his work responsibilities and live a somewhat normal life after the smoke cleared and the bad guys went to jail or the morgue. That had been almost impossible to do as a SEAL. When he wasn’t on leave, his job had been 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There was no such thing as “free time.” But with Five-0, though, he was placing roots, building relationships, reconnecting with family, and relearning the community of his youth. For the first time in his adult life, Steve actually looked forward to punching out a clock and going to have drinks or attending a local football game with the team. This is what balance was supposed to feel like, and Steve was liking it just fine.

That’s not to say that he didn’t still enjoy the challenges and rush of his cases or his investigation into his father’s toolbox, though. In fact, the last case they closed had been dangerous in the extreme for Steve’s ability to continue breathing. A former SEAL named Graham Wilson had been accused of killing his wife, and had taken seven hostages aboard the _USS Missouri_ at Pearl Harbor after escaping the police. He had refused to let them go unless the police found the real murderer of his wife. Five-0 had been pulled on the case by the governor herself in the hopes that Steve’s training would benefit them in retrieving the hostages alive.

As Steve thought back to the moment where he decided to board the boat from the water, he chuckled at the memory of Danny’s face when Steve had pulled his shirt off over his head. He remembered being amused at the fact that Danny couldn’t quit looking down the whole time his mouth was arguing and hands were waving. He and Danny had developed a surprising friendship over the past six months of their partnership. It was still new and they had more than their fair share of arguments, but something about them together just… _clicked_. He loved that Danny was beginning to loosen up and even tease him. Steve had never dealt with that before, and he found that he enjoyed it immensely. Danny was irreverent, hot-tempered, quick with a joke, and seemed to take great delight in trying to reign in Steve’s behavior. The SEAL had to admit that it had the opposite effect on him, though. Sometimes, Steve would take greater risks or push the line too far just to see how Danny would react. So far, the detective had never failed to disappoint him.

The doorbell rang a half second before someone began pounding loudly on the front door. Taking a moment to check his appearance in the hall mirror, Steve made his way to the door while calling, “Keep your pants on! I’m coming!”

It had been Steve’s idea to invite the team over to his house for a celebration after closing the last case. He thought they all deserved a break, and he also hoped they got to know each other better, too. Steve felt good about how the situation with Graham had ended. Steve hadn’t left a fellow sailor behind. He had saved Graham from being killed by SWAT, and the man was on his way to get the psychiatric care he needed. His team had busted their asses, too, by stopping an airplane from taking off that contained the real murderer and Graham’s young stepdaughter. Danny had even shocked him by ramming the terminal gate with his precious Camaro and speeding down the runway before pulling in front of the plane. Man, Steve wished he had been there to see that.

When Steve opened the door, he found Danny standing there impatiently while juggling a case of beer. “Took you long enough to answer, Aquaman. These babies aren’t light, you know,” the blonde detective griped as he elbowed past his partner to head to the kitchen.

Steve’s face split with a grin as he called out, “Yeah, they are, Danny. It says so right on the box. Why didn’t you get Longboards like I told you to?”

Danny’s voice carried from the kitchen with his reply. “Because that is not a real beer, Steven. Bud Light is a real beer, and it is also cheaper than that watered-down piss you call beer. Besides, it’s free, so I’m sure you’ll love it.”

Steve laughed and turned back to the door to let Chin and Kono inside after he heard the car pull in beside Danny’s Camaro.

“Howzit, Steve?” Chin asked, his hands full of carry-out containers from a local deli. “I picked up potato salad, poi, and green beans, and Kono grabbed some dessert.”

“Am I the only one here who is doing any actual cooking?” Steve asked as he eyed Kono lugging several bakery boxes from the car.

Danny strolled into the room with one hand in his pocket and the other tipping a beer bottle back to chug his drink. Steve watched with fascination as the man’s Adam’s apple moved up and down. With a sigh of appreciation, Danny wiped his mouth and said, “First of all, throwing a piece of raw meat on a grill is not cooking, McGarrett. Secondly, please, Chin, please tell me that dessert does not include the words ‘coconut’ or ‘pineapple.’ After the week I’ve had, the very least I deserve is some chocolate.”

Kono elbowed past her cousin, her slender arms weighed down by several boxes. “Sorry, Danny, but I picked up a coconut pie and a pineapple upside-down cake.” When the detective threw his head back and groaned, the young native woman laughed and added, “And a box of coco puffs for you.”

Danny threw his hands up in the air and strode forward to place a loud, smacking kiss on the young woman’s cheek. “You, my friend, are a goddess among women. Here, let me take those for you.”

Steve couldn’t help but feel happy as the four of them made their way to the back lanai where the grill was smoking and the sounds of the ocean played symphony in the background. It was such a strange occurrence for him to feel this good about life. It wasn’t that he was miserable in the Navy. He just hadn’t realized what he’d been missing. Getting to know Chin and Kono, and especially Danny, had opened his eyes to the possibility of building a family of his own one day. Even just meeting Grace, Danny’s little girl, had caused a shift in his heart. Watching his partner be a dad made something funny happen in Steve’s chest, and he was intrigued enough to keep seeking it out by spending as much time with the man as possible.

The evening was spent talking, laughing, arguing, and eating the delicious food. Even Danny had to agree that Steve grilled a mean steak, though he did harp about the side of grilled pineapple Steve had slid onto his plate. When they were all pleasantly full and leftovers put away, Kono slapped her hands down on the table and announced, “Now, gentlemen. We drink.”

Reaching underneath the table, she pulled out a large bottle of whiskey. Danny whistled low under his breath and Chin just shook his head. Steve jumped to his feet and said, “I’ll go get some of dad’s shot glasses.”

His heart was beating faster in anticipation of seeing his friends let all their defenses down. He couldn’t wait to see Danny drunk off his ass. He thought that the Jersey cop would likely get more arrogant and mouthy, and Steve couldn’t wait. After grabbing four shot glasses from behind the bar in his dad’s office, he hightailed it back to the lanai where Chin was refereeing an argument between Danny and Kono over which was the better brand of whiskey. With a solid _thunk_ , he set down a shot glass in front of each person.

“What are we drinking to?” Steve queried as he twisted the cap off the bottle and began to pour each person a shot of liquor.

“Another case closed successfully,” Chin suggested, his eyes crinkling with a smile.

Kono made a rude noise. “No way. Let’s drink to Steve for not getting shot during this case. That’s a miracle in itself right there.”

Danny was looking thoughtfully at the amber liquid swirling around in his glass before offering his own toast. Holding his shot glass up high, he said, “Here’s to all of us. Maybe this pineapple hell hole isn’t that bad, after all.”

As each of them clinked their little glasses together, Steve added, “To good food, good company, and catching bad guys.”

To a chorus of “Here, here!”, they all tipped back their drinks and swallowed it down. Steve grit his teeth against the fiery burn of the liquor chasing down into his stomach to leave a warm glow. As he slammed his glass back on the table, Kono clapped her hands and said, “Oh! I know! We can play a drinking game! Have any of you played ‘Never Have I Ever’?”

The three men exchanged glances and shrugged. “No,” Chin acknowledged before adding sardonically, “But, I’m guessing you’ll tell us how.”

Kono grabbed the bottle of booze and poured them all a fresh shot. “Okay, the rules are pretty simple. Each person takes a turn making a true statement about themselves like ‘Never have I ever eaten Indian food.’ Then, every person who has actually done that thing has to take a drink. We used to play this at U of H, and it never fails to disappoint.”

Chin raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Kono, you went to the community college before joining the police academy.”

She shrugged a narrow shoulder and replied, “We still had study groups. At the bar.” When everyone was settled back into their seats, she declared, “I’ll go first. Now remember, if you have done the thing that I say I haven’t, you have to drink.” When everyone rolled their eyes and waved her on, she took a deep breath and said, “Never have I ever been in a threesome.”

All three men goggled at her as she grinned with twinkling eyes. She watched each of them closely until her eyes met Steve’s. He knew his face was blushing red, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. The wily young woman had taken him by surprise. Like the sniper she was, she locked on Steve as a target and silently dared him to lie. With a huff of annoyance, he reached out, snagged the glass, and downed it in one swallow while the other two men watched with dawning amazement.

“Oh! You’ve got to be kidding me!” Danny crowed. “Commander Steven J. McGarrett has participated in a ménage à trois? Well, this is incredible.”

Steve shot him a peeved look and snapped, “I was in the Navy, Danny. Things happen when you get shore leave in foreign ports of call.” Of course, he wasn’t going to mention to anyone that the threesome had been between him, a woman, and another man. They didn’t need to know all the details.

Things devolved quickly after that as each one of them tried to get the other drunk by announcing increasingly more scandalous details about themselves, or by using prior information to trip each other up. At one point, Danny had smirked and stared Steve down as he announced, “Never have I ever stripped off my shirt or other clothes at the crime scene of an active investigation.” Steve knew Danny was referring to when he had taken his shirt off to swim to the boat on their last case. Without breaking eye contact, Steve lifted the glass to his lips and tossed it back. Their moment was interrupted when both Chin and Kono lifted their glasses and drank their shot. Everyone knew that Kono had taken her dress off during her first case when she had gone undercover to help them capture Sang Min. But Chin? That was a real shock to Steve.

“Chin?” Danny questioned the older man incredulously. “Buddy, I thought I was doing us both a solid with that one. What happened, man?”

Chin waved them all off with a laugh, and replied only, “It’s a long story. Maybe I’ll share it next time.” Choruses of groans and protests rang out over the cool night air, but the native cop wouldn’t be moved.

By the time they had been playing for well over thirty minutes, all four of them were sloppy drunk and laughing until tears squeezed out of their eyes. Chin wiped his watering eyes and finally calmed enough to get their attention. “I believe it’s my turn, yeah?” When everyone nodded and prepared themselves, Chin declared, “Never have I ever made out with someone of the same sex.”

Everyone at the table froze in place except for Chin who was sporting a decidedly evil grin on his face. Steve felt sweat pop out on his forehead as he contemplated lying to his friends for the first time that night, but that didn’t sit well with him. These people were his coworkers and friends. It was better to find out now whether they would judge him or not. With that thought in mind, he reached out to pick up his shot glass and downed the fiery amber liquid. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Danny’s hand sneak toward his own glass while Kono just shrugged and downed hers, too. Reluctantly, Danny followed her example and threw his shot back while looking everywhere else but at his friends.

“Well, this certainly was a surprise,” Chin admitted sardonically. “I’m not surprised by Kono. Her drunken college days were legendary in our family. But you guys? I’m afraid I’m going to need more details on this.”

Steve, feeling acutely uncomfortable, forced a chuckle and simply replied, “Adrenaline and necessity make strange bedfellows.” He could feel Danny’s glacier blue eyes boring holes through him, but he refused to look at his partner.

“What about you, brah?” Kono engaged the blonde detective. “What’s your excuse?”

Danny thought about it for a moment before his face broke out into a grin. “What can I say? He was hot. I couldn’t resist.”

As the table of friends broke into laughter, Steve couldn’t stop himself from wondering about the mystery man that Danny had kissed at some point. Was he as tall as Steve was or as highly-trained in combat? Was the man still in Danny’s life, and if so, would Steve ever get to meet him? What else had Danny done with a man other than make out? His inebriated imagination was running away with him and he couldn’t focus on the conversation around him.

Kono, ever the opportunist, decided to move on to another game, and the men gratefully agreed to her suggestion of playing “Quarters.” Steve was an old pro at the game of bouncing a quarter into an empty shot glass, and his competitive nature reared up and insisted he dominate. Since they were all already quite soused and didn’t want to risk more alcohol, Chin suggested that the first person to reach 10 quarters bounced in a glass would be able to demand a favor of one or more of their coworkers and they had to comply without complaint and were not allowed to refuse. Danny barked a laugh and rubbed his hands together as he declared that Kono would writing all his reports for two months. Steve raised an eyebrow and insisted that when he won, he would require Danny to burn his ties in a bonfire. Chin thought long and hard for all of three seconds before he announced that Steve would have to wash, wax, and buff his ’66 Mustang. Twice and by hand.

When they all turned to Kono expectantly, the minx just shrugged with a small smile. “I’m not very good at this game, so there’s no need in me even saying it.”

The men all stared her down. Granted, Steve was pretty sure there were now two of Kono sitting across from him, but he still gave both of her the stink eye. When she refused to budge, Danny got the ball rolling by banging his fist on the table. “Let’s do this!” he declared as he took aim with a quarter and spun it out between his fingers. The quarter spun through the air, bounced off the table once, and landed in the shot glass with an angry _clink clink clink_.

Danny cheered as the other three groaned and complained. Each one of them became invested in winning, and the competitive atmosphere quickly turned them into devious saboteurs. Kono got caught trying to bump Danny’s elbow during his turn, Chin “accidentally” scooted the table during Steve’s turn, and Danny did what he did best; he used his mouth as a prime distraction. Steve remained focused on his mission, though. He wanted to see those ties burn. It was a crime to cover up Danny’s body with even one more layer of cloth, and those ties would die a deserving death by his hand.

An hour later, the game was drawing to a close. Danny was in last place with six quarters, Chin was holding at a respectable eight, and Steve and Kono were tied at nine. It was Steve’s turn to bounce, and he marshalled his drunken reflexes into line. This game was his, and so were Danny’s ties.

Steve took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. He lined up his shot, squinted his eyes, and prepared to release his shot. Kono said, “If I win, you have to kiss Danny.”

Steve jerked in shock and the quarter spun off the table to land in the sand. As Steve stared into nothingness, Kono stood unsteadily to her feet. She pulled her shorts out of her crotch, and marched over to retrieve the innocent quarter. “My turn,” she announced merrily.

“That was dirty, Kono,” Chin chided his cousin with a rueful laugh, but Steve and Danny weren’t smiling.

Kono shrugged gallantly, lined up her shot, and bounced the quarter off the table and straight into the glass. Steve felt all the blood rush out of his face and his stomach chose this moment to lodge a complaint about all the alcohol and food it had consumed. He didn’t dare look at Danny, because he had a feeling that Kono hadn’t been joking. She was going to make them do it.

His suspicions were confirmed when she took another shot of whisky, wiped her mouth, settled her chin on top of her folded hands, and said, “As the winner, the coworkers of my choosing will do me a favor and they are unable to complain or refuse. And I choose for Steve to french kiss Danny for no less than 30 seconds. Right here. Right now.”

“Kono!” Chin hissed as concerned eyes darted between the two men. “You can’t do that. Steve’s your boss.”

Steve’s whole world narrowed down to that moment, and it hung there, suspended, for an eternity of time. That had only happened to him two other times in life; once, when his mom died in a car explosion, and another time when the sound of a gunshot over the phone told him that his dad had just been murdered. There was freedom in this moment. It was the last second of time before his life changed forever. He stole that second and he cradled it, cherished it, and mourned its loss.

But even stolen seconds of eternity must come to an end. The soldier inside Steve made him throw down the remains of his old life, and march boldly and bravely into the new one. He had survived the changes before, and he would survive them again. His hazel eyes locked onto Kono’s sleepy, seductive gaze, and he smiled. “No, Chin,” he addressed the native man as his eyes remained riveted on his opponent. “Tonight, I am not her boss. I am her friend. And I have every intention of honoring that by doing what she asks.”

Steve forced himself to finally look at his silent partner. Danny was frozen solid as if afraid even one twitch of his eyelash would alert them to the fact that he was still there. Steve’s stomach fell through his boots at the idea that doing this kiss might derail everything they had built on over the last six months. “Danny? You in or out, man?” Steve addressed him quietly.

Danny searched Steve’s face intently before his lips quirked up and he replied, “Are you kidding me, babe? Sticking my tongue down your throat for 30 seconds is better than burning all my ties. Granted, not by much, but still. Better.”

Relief, sweet and cool like spring water, swept over Steve and he joined his laughter with Danny’s as their bodies naturally moved towards the other’s. Their eyes were locked, frosty blue to shifting hazel, and Steve found himself falling, falling, falling into his partner’s eyes. He watched Danny’s face soften with affection and a dash of seductive charisma as their faces moved closer and closer under their own power. To Steve, it felt like answering an irresistible summons, but with an unseen force that was pulling him back at the same time.

Danny’s lips were moving, too, but this time it wasn’t to talk. He licked his lips and curled them in a slow, seductive smile, and Steve couldn’t resist the temptation for one more minute. He closed the distance between them and claimed Danny’s lips without hesitation or fear. The shock of Danny Williams kissing him made Steve gasp the air directly from Danny’s lungs via his mouth. The shorter man took the opportunity, though, and snuck his tongue inside to seek out Steve in his own territory. The detective advanced and retreated, gaining more and more ground each pass, until Steve rallied and met his next advance with one of his own. Steve forgot that this was only for a bet. He forgot that they had an audience. And he forgot that it was only for 30 seconds.

All he knew was that kissing Danny was like parachuting out of an airplane at 15,000 feet. It was scary as fuck, but it was also the most exhilarating feeling in the world. Danny could kiss like a son of a bitch, too. The man was bold, dominant, and demanding, yet coaxing and teasing a response from Steve at the same time. Their tongues dueled, twisted, and danced together in between nips of teeth on a plump lip or the hum of approval echoing between their mouths. Steve never wanted it to end, but the nagging little voice in the back of his head was shouting a warning about _time_.

With a desperate effort of will, Steve wrenched his lips away from his partner’s and panted as his heart galloped out of control. Steve and Danny couldn’t quit staring at each other, both of them flushed and breathing heavily, as silence descended over the table.

Their fraught tableau was interrupted when Kono slurred, “God damn, that was hot. If I was a smoker, I would light up a cigarette after that. Let’s play again.” Her voice was dreamy and her exotic eyes were hazy with satisfaction.

“I think you’ve done enough for tonight, Kono,” Chin reigned her in. “Besides, it’s midnight and our cab should be here any minute.” As if on cue, the sharp bark of a horn honking in front of the house pierced the cool night air.

As if he were walking through a dream, Steve stood from the table and performed his duties as host by escorting the cousins inside, gathering belongings and leftovers, and ushering them out the door with mutual parting greetings. Kono was reluctant to go, and even managed to break loose from her cousin, but Chin corralled the drunk young woman and poured her into the back seat of the idling taxi.

When the door closed with a soft _snick_ , Steve turned to find Danny standing there in the living room with his hands shoved in his jeans pockets. They regarded each other carefully until Danny cleared his throat and said, “You, uh…You mind if I crash on the couch?”

Steve’s first instinct was to say no. There was no way he could trust himself around Danny after that kiss. But some whispery voice inside his head was crooning, _“You know Danny’s too drunk to drive, and he probably can’t afford a taxi all the way back over to his place. You would be doing him a favor, as his friend, by letting him crash here.”_ He agreed with the voice in his head. It was the best solution to the problem at hand.

Steve’s face relaxed into an easy smile and he replied, “Yeah, of course. I’ll go get you a pillow and a blanket. There’s some new toothbrushes in the bathroom, so take your pick.”

Danny’s expression morphed into gratitude. “Thank you, Steven, for not forcing my drunk ass out the lawn. Even if I had the money for a cab, I don’t think I could have made it inside my door on my own.”

Steve chuckled as he retrieved a spare blanket and pillow out of the hall closet and made his partner a bed on the sofa while Danny made judicious use of the facilities. As he walked down the hall toward the stairs, he paused to knock softly on the bathroom door. “Hey, man, you need some sweatpants or something?”

Danny opened the door and Steve gawked at the mostly naked man standing there. Danny had stripped down to his boxer shorts and nothing else. The scent of minty toothpaste mixed with whisky teased Steve’s nose as he took the opportunity to observe his partner’s body. Danny’s torso formed a delicious inverted triangle packed with muscles that were clearly outlined by shadowed trenches. His shoulders were wide before narrowing down slightly to form solid pecs that were liberally dusted with honey-colored hair. The bottom part of the triangle was what fascinated Steve most. At the point of the triangle, Danny’s dick was prominently outlined by the cotton of his shorts. He was sporting an impressive package, and Steve could tell that his partner was still half-hard.

With a quirked eyebrow, Danny stepped past the SEAL and answered, “I’m comfortable with what I’ve got, but thanks.” And he sauntered down the hall toward the living room and Steve’s couch.

A fine tremor of longing chased along the nerve endings of Steve’s body as he watched him go. He knew that if he followed Danny down the hall that the man wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch. He would be sleeping in Steve’s bed.

As he turned and headed for the steps, Steve thought to himself, _Not yet. But soon._

End Part One


	2. Part Two

The second time Steve kissed Danny was strictly by accident. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

 

_A year and half after they met for the first time…_

Steve lay in his bed, blanket draped over his bare abdomen, and cursed Danny Williams up one side and down the other. His partner and best friend had moved in with Steve two weeks prior when black mold infested the hotel the detective had been living in, and it had been the longest two weeks of Steve’s life. If he had thought the sexual tension between them had been bad before, it was nothing compared to having the man around him 24 hours a day, seven days a week. He had learned more about his partner than he ever thought he wanted to know in that time, yet nothing he had learned seemed to dull the pounding need flowing through Steve’s body every time he was around him.

Unfortunately, this didn’t mean that they got along like gangbusters or that it moved them any closer to finally consummating the simmering attracting between them. Instead, it made them fuss and bicker like an old married couple. Steve knew that he could be challenging to live with, especially for a civilian. He had become indoctrinated to the Navy standard of cleanliness, order, and time management, and he failed to understand why the concepts were so hard for the Jersey cop to comprehend. Steve had tried to explain to his friend that organization and prior planning were key to living a happier and easier life, but Danny would not be swayed. The detective lived his life in a sloppy, haphazard manner sprinkled with food crumbs and empty wrappers, and it drove Steve absolutely insane. How difficult was it to throw something away when you were done with it or to hang up your bath towel after your shower? Why did Danny find it so impossible to toss his dirty laundry into a hamper instead of leaving them in the floor wherever he undressed? And why, in God’s name, did the man have to listen to the television while he fell asleep on the couch?

Steve sat up in the bed and jerked a tee shirt over his head before he made his way down the steps and to the living room. The TV was blaring an infomercial about buying gold coins, and a glance at Danny showed the man huddled under a blanket on the couch with his face covered. With a roll of his eyes, Steve flipped the television off.

“I was watching that,” Danny mumbled from beneath the covers.

Steve sighed heavily. “Through the blanket?” he snapped back as he collapsed in the chair next to his friend.

Danny pulled the blanket down to peer at Steve with blurry, blood-shot eyes. “Oh, well, I was listening anyways.”

Steve couldn’t seem to help himself from launching into yet another argument with his partner. “Yeah, I mean, because there’s nothing more soothing than the sound of someone trying to sell you gold coins, right?”

Danny ran his hand down his face and muttered, “You know, I need something to block out the sound of the ocean, because the waves keep crashing over and over and over again, Steven.” His partner’s voice sounded both exhausted and frustrated.

Steve shook his head at the strange vagaries of his partner’s ideas. “Some would say it’s a relaxing sound, Danny.”

“Yeah?” Danny shot back. “Some people would. And other people, like myself, would say it’s Hawaiian water torture, okay? Two weeks now. I can’t take it anymore.”

Steve closed his eyes to pray for patience and said, “Okay, you know I don’t mind you crashing with me until you find your own place, right?”

“I appreciate that.” He didn’t sound grateful to Steve.

Steve continued as if Danny had never interrupted. “Okay, but I can’t sleep with the TV on.”

“I can’t sleep with the TV off,” Danny countered mulishly.

“And we discussed that before you moved in,” Steve reminded him impatiently.

Danny hugged his pillow and stared daggers at Steve as he replied, “Yeah, we did. I think I remember that it’s McGarrett House Rule #32: No TV After Midnight.”

Steve grit his teeth and silently wondered how it was possible to want to choke someone and kiss them at the same time. “I’m sorry the hotel didn’t work out for you,” Steve tossed out the dig in retaliation.

“Wait, wait, whoa, whoa,” Danny objected. “The hotel didn’t ‘not work out,’ okay? It became infested with black mold. There’s a difference. That’s a sign from God.”

“But,” Steve stressed, “I have become accustomed to doing things a certain way.”

Danny’s voice rose as he answered. “Yeah, I know, and your way, your way is completely insane. It’s nuts. Who can take a shower in under three minutes?” he asked, his tone incredulous.

Steve thought he was going to come unglued if Danny didn’t quit picking fights with him. “Have you ever heard of a ‘Navy shower’, Danny? A Navy shower?!”

Danny immediately began to sit up and spat back, “No! Where do you think I would have heard of something like a Navy shower? I’m not in the Navy!”

At this point, they were talking over each other as each man’s frustrations came pouring out to try to be heard over the other. “Three minutes is a luxury in a Navy shower, Danny!”

He was saved from continuing this ridiculous argument by the ringing of his phone. “McGarrett,” he answered testily. Sgt. Duke Lukela was on the other end of the phone call and had simply reported the address of where Five-0 was needed. “On our way,” Steve assured the older man. He hung up the phone, looked at his infuriating partner, and demanded in a patronizing tone, “Put your pants on. We’re going to work.”

By the time Steve and Danny reached the crime scene, though, things between them were right back to that sweet spot where they enjoyed each other’s company and laughter was the common language. That was the great thing about Danny, Steve often thought to himself. Even though the detective’s temper flared hotly and rapidly, it burned out just as quick. It wasn’t that Danny couldn’t hold a grudge. Far from it. Danny held onto grudges like Gollum cherished his Precious. He just didn’t allow them to interfere with his affection or influence his behavior. Much.

Steve had learned a lot about Danny over the past year and a half since they first met. The funny thing was that everything he learned about the man just made him love him more. Even through the arguments, explosions, broken bones, sarin poisoning, ex-wife drama, incarceration, stabbing, and other craziness that had punctuated their relationship, Steve had never stopped being fascinated and… _enchanted_ by Danny Williams. Steve just simply couldn’t get enough of the man. When he had thought he was losing not only his freedom, but his partner forever, Steve had nearly given up. Of course Danny was going to leave him. His partner had become too important, too essential, to Steve’s existence. That wasn’t allowed in Steve’s world, so of course the man would leave to build a real family with his pregnant ex-wife and small child. Steve didn’t blame him one bit. It didn’t stop his heart from breaking, though.

But, Danny hadn’t left. The man had sent Rachel and Grace to New Jersey and had stayed behind in Honolulu to help Steve. It was because of his partner that he had stayed safe in the prison with the same inmates he had helped put there. It was because of Danny that Steve had been able to escape and clear his name. It was because of Danny Williams that he had continued to fight. He genuinely mourned the loss of Danny’s family, though. He had learned that family was everything to Danny, and Steve admired that completely. His own heart had grieved in an echo of Danny’s when he learned that the baby wasn’t his and that Rachel was going back to Stan. True, he was able to keep Danny, but it had come at a terrible price. He would have spared his partner that pain in a blink of an eye if he could have taken it upon himself.

Yes, Steve had learned a lot about Danny, and he still wanted more. When his partner had mentioned that he was shortly going to be homeless, Steve had thrilled at the opportunity to pull the man in closer. So, using his patented, casual “bro speak”, he had offered to let Danny stay at his place until he found somewhere else. It was the perfect opportunity to see if their relationship could maybe evolve into something a little more…intimate. It would also gave him the opportunity to spend a lot of time with Grace during her visitation. She was such a great kid, and Steve often found himself bending over backward to make her beautiful face light up in a smile.

The first few days had been almost magical. They had spent every evening together, hanging out on the couch, drinking beers, and watching TV. They had flirted, crossed a few personal boundaries, and each tested the water with how far they could go. But, after the newness had worn off, the frustration had set in. Danny was getting comfortable, and that meant dried coffee stains on the counter and every scrap of paper, lint, loose change, and other detritus from the man’s pockets were strewn across the coffee table every day. That meant that Steve got to see the good and the bad about his partner, and it had cooled his ardor enough to forestall any brewing lust between them. Steve couldn’t help but think that if he could just fix their issues at home, then maybe the two men may still have a shot at something more. Unfortunately, he just didn’t know how to do that.

The case turned out to be an interesting one full of twists and surprises. Not only was their vic found in the trunk of a stolen car, but he had just undergone extensive plastic surgery to change his appearance. The case continued to take unexpected turns as the Boston Irish mob became involved, a pretty girlfriend popped up, and the revelation that their victim was in Witness Protection threw them off trail of the real killer. Thankfully, Chin was able to investigate the comings and goings of the vehicles in the parking garage, and deduced the killer was the plastic surgeon. The victim had died on the table, and the doctor had covered it up over the panic of losing his practice for performing an operation that wasn’t entirely legal.

The best part about this case was that it gave Steve the time and opportunity to come up with a solution for the bickering over the TV at home. On his way back to the Palace later that evening, Steve stopped off at a high-end shop and picked up an expensive pair of noise-cancelling headphones with Bluetooth. The clerk had assured him that they would work with his old TV, but only if he bought a pricey adapter, too. For once, Steve didn’t mind parting with his hard-earned cash. This could be the beginning to putting him and Danny back on the road toward beginning a physical relationship while still building on the emotional one.

He watched Danny enter his office and pick up the case with the shiny black bow. He couldn’t help himself, so he stepped in behind his partner and said, “You like that?”

Danny held the headphones up and replied with surprise, “Yes, I do.”

Steve grinned. “Now you can watch all the TV you want.” Boom. Problem solved.

“This is, uh…I’m touched. Thank you,” Danny replied sincerely. “Uh, but I do believe that I found a place.”

Steve’s stomach dropped. This wasn’t supposed to happen yet. He had just solved their issues, and now they were supposed to move on to the business of getting busy. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Danny assured him. “A nice little house for rent right down the street from you.”

“Forget about it,” Steve blurted.

Before he could follow that up by telling Danny he never needed to leave, his partner joked, “Oh, right. Rule number 56: No Coworkers Living On The Same Block.”

Steve could tell he was stumbling all over himself as he replied, “Something like that, yeah.” Actually, it was nothing like that, but Steve couldn’t tell him that. “No, just put it out of your mind. Okay?”

Danny studied Steve carefully, and the SEAL couldn’t help but squirm under his gaze. As if comprehension finally dawned on Danny, he looked down at the headphones and said, “These are still very nice.” He placed them over his ears and said loudly, “Wow, they work good. I can’t hear you at all. It’s perfect.”

Later that night, they sat drinking a well-deserved beer and bemoaning the fact that they had thoroughly ticked off Max by missing his invitation to movie night as they watched the waves roll in and back out on the little beach behind Steve’s house. He could tell Danny had something else, something more serious, on his mind. Steve had learned to read Danny like a book, and if he knew his partner, it wouldn’t be long before the man spilled the beans.

“So, uh, listen, Steve,” Danny began, his voice sounding almost nervous. “I really want to thank you for allowing me to, uh, disturb your life by moving in for a while. I know that it hasn’t been easy living with me, and I appreciate your…patience.”

Steve nodded in lieu of answering. He wasn’t quite sure where Danny was going with this. Clearing his throat, Steve finally said, “Yeah, of course, buddy. I know things have been a little rocky as we settled in, but I really think these headphones will move us in the right direction, you know?”

“Steve…” Danny said, his voice soft with hesitation. “I put a deposit on that house today. In fact, the landlady said it would be ready for me to move in this weekend.”

You couldn’t tell it from the frozen expression on the SEAL’s face, but his stomach had dropped to his feet. He had lost his chance. He’d had Danny right here, in his home, and he had still somehow screwed it up. Forcing false cheer into his tone, he replied, “Danny, that’s great, man. I’m really happy for you.”

Danny didn’t return his smile. “It’s not the best place in the world, but it would be mine, you know? As great as it’s been to be able to hang out with you all the time, I still always felt like a mooch and a schmuck for not being able to put a roof over my own head or to have someplace to make Grace a bedroom. It’s just better this way.”

Steve’s eyebrows drew down with pique. “I told you that we could convert Mary’s old room for Grace, but you wouldn’t let me. I know it’s still full of boxes and Christmas decorations, but it wouldn’t have been any trouble to clear it out and put her a bed in there.”

“And what about me, Steven? Where was I supposed to go? Sleep on the couch forever?” When Steve remained stubbornly silent on that point, Danny continued, “Look, what we have going on here between us is complex and special, and I don’t want to ruin that by being a…a…thorn in your side. You get that right?”

“Yeah,” Steve sighed. He really did get it, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. “I get it, Danno. This will be good for us, yeah? Maybe get a little space to get things back to an even keel. I’m happy for you, buddy. I think this is a step in the right direction.”

“Thank you, Steven,” Danny replied, the humor leaking back in his voice. “Your stamp of approval means so very, very much to me.”

Steve snorted. “I haven’t seen the place, so don’t think you have my full approval just yet.” He paused for a moment before adding, “You’ll still, uh, bring Grace over to swim, though, right?”

“I’m only moving right down the street, babe,” Danny reminded him gently before adding, “Besides, I don’t think you’ll be able to keep her away. Not only do you have the beach, but you also have cable and internet, both of which I will be too broke to afford for many months.”

Steve shared a grin with his partner and they clinked their bottles together in a silent toast to Danny’s new place. It was already quite late, so they made their way back into the house to get ready for bed. As the SEAL headed up the stairs, he smiled as he saw Danny fit the headphones over his ears and settle into the couch to sleep. Steve continued on up the stairs, stopped to brush his teeth, and stripped down to his boxer briefs before slipping in the bed.

Two hours later, he was still awake and tossing and turning. He couldn’t get comfortable and it was so _quiet_ in the house. All he could hear were the ocean waves crashing against the shore over and over and over again, and he started to understand what Danny had meant by “Hawaiian water torture.” The ocean had always been a source of comfort for Steve, but now it just echoed with emptiness. It was almost as if Danny were already gone, and that thought brought Steve up out of the bed. Rationally, he knew that Danny was still downstairs and likely asleep on the couch, but that didn’t stop him from padding down the steps in his bare feet to creep around like a burglar.

When he reached the living room, the flickering light from the TV showed that it was still on, and Danny was out cold on the couch. Almost as if they were magnets, Steve gravitated toward his partner. He told himself he was only going to check on the man, make sure he was comfortable, before heading back up the stairs. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Danny’s bare back was facing him and that the top half of his ass was showing from where his boxers had slid down.

When Steve was hovering over his partner, he saw that the headphones were twisted and pressing deeply into the skin of Danny’s face. Though it didn’t seem to bother him in the least, Steve couldn’t leave him like that in good conscience. Surely with his ninja-like reflexes he should be able to maneuver them off Danny’s head and place them on the coffee table for safe keeping. Easy peasy, right?

Steve lowered himself to his knees next to the couch in order to work at a better angle. He leaned over his sleeping friend, who snoring lightly, and moved the earpiece closest to him off of Danny’s ear. He paused when the man snorted and shifted his body further toward the back of the couch and further out of Steve’s range of motion. With a breathy curse, Steve lowered his torso even further over Danny’s back and began to work on freeing the headphones once more. The stupid things were pinned under the detective’s ear, and Steve was afraid he wouldn’t be able to extricate them without waking the man. He never gave up on a mission, though, and proceeded to wedge his hand under Danny’s scruffy cheek and carefully lifted his head to wiggle the device free.

That was when Danny flopped over on his back, the headphones shot out of Steve’s hand to sail over his shoulder, and Danny’s arm flung over Steve’s neck to pin him into the warmth of his partner’s neck. He froze, waiting for Danny to begin yelling, but the only sound was another soft snore that ruffled the hair on Steve’s head. After what felt like an eternity of being frozen while plastered across his partner’s naked chest, Steve gently began to ease himself back, but Danny’s arm tightened with a cranky rumble of complaint. Steve couldn’t breathe, and even though he could happily perish with the scent of Danny’s cologne in his nose, he decided that this folly had gone on long enough.

Firmly yet smoothly, he picked up Danny’s arm and tried to restore his balance so he could make his escape. Just as he was about to slide away safely, fate laughed at him and pulled the rug out from under him. Literally. The rug under his knees slid with his movement, and the momentum sent him plunging down on his partner lips first to collide with Danny’s mouth. He could tell that he had finally woken his partner, and he closed his eyes in embarrassed shame.

Before he could beat a hasty retreat, Danny’s arm came back down around Steve’s neck and held him against his lips that were softening and moving under Steve’s own. Steve quickly got with the program, and allowed himself to once again taste and experience the firm, bold flavor of his partner. The kiss was slow and tender, if shallow, but Steve didn’t care. He had begun to think that he would never get to experience this bliss again.

After about five minutes, Danny’s arm fell back to the couch, and Steve took this as his cue to back away. Danny’s eyes were still closed as he turned on his side and snuggled into his pillow. “Took you long enough,” the man mumbled sleepily before drifting off once more.

As the SEAL made his way back up the steps, a goofy smile was stretching across his face. Maybe, just maybe, all hope was not yet lost. After Danny got settled into his new place, Steve would begin his campaign of getting in Danny’s pants once more. As he settled back into his lonely bed, he thought to himself, _Not_ _yet. But soon._


	3. Part Three

The third time that Steve kissed Danny was because he was pissed. What followed after…well, that was a long time coming.

 

_A little over two years after meeting for the first time…_

Things hadn’t quite worked out the way Steve had hoped. The last six months had been one catastrophe after another, and he and Danny had become too wrapped up in cases and personal tragedies to find the time or opportunity to take things to another level in their relationship. First, there was the awful business of being double-crossed by Agent Jenna Kaye. Steve understood why she had done it, but it had ended up costing her life, and almost Steve’s in the process. After Jenna’s death and Steve’s subsequent torture at Wo Fat’s hand, the SEAL had thought he was a goner. When the flap on that truck had lifted and Danny came crawling in to his rescue, he had almost cried with relief. Steve knew that his obsession with finding Shelburne was preventing him from giving his partner the time and attention he needed to foster a deeper relationship, but he couldn’t help himself. He would never be able to find peace and move forward in his life until this mystery was solved. Add on top of that even more cases, danger, Chin’s wedding, Joe White’s secret machinations, Grace’s kidnapping by Danny’s ex-partner, and the small matter of an international incident that led to the Governor firing Lori Weston, and Steve was lucky to even be alive, much less focused on seducing his partner.

And now, it was too late. Danny had been dating Gabby for three months, and Steve had taken a big step back to allow his partner the second chance at creating a family for Grace. He had already torpedoed his partner’s chance at a reconciliation with Rachel when he had been imprisoned on suspicion for murdering Governor Jameson and Danny had stayed behind on the island to help him. He would not dare be responsible for Danny missing out on happiness with Gabby. So, he put a smile on his face, forced himself to push Danny closer to Gabby, and watched from the sidelines as his own chance for happiness slipped further and further away.

Now, here he sat at a dinner where Danny had invited all his friends in order to craft a controlled environment for Gabby to meet Grace. From all appearances, the mission seemed to be a success. Both Grace and Gabby were down on the beach using shells to make patterns in the sand, and Danny was watching anxiously in the chair right next to him.

Steve took another swallow of his beer for courage, and said, “Will you relax? She’s right there.”

“I’m completely fine!” Danny insisted even as Steve repeated, “She’s right there!”

Danny huffed and sat back in his chair. Steve plastered a smile on his face and said, “You did good, buddy.” Raising his beer in the air for a toast, he included the rest of the table by saying, “He did good!”

Kamekona, his mouth full of fried shrimp, seconded, “He did real good. You picked a controlled environment, reduced expectation and pressure for all three of you. Good job.”

Danny nodded. “Thank you. Thanks,” he addressed the rest of the table with a grim smile before looking back over at the sand where Gabby and Grace were talking.

Steve watched his partner closely, trying to figure out why the man was so anxious. Grace was an amazing kid, and Gabby would be lucky to get to know her. Steve loved that little girl, so he could understand Danny wanted to protect her, especially after the kidnapping, but what harm could Gabby do to her? She was a nice, friendly woman who worked in a museum. She was the safest choice possible for Danny to pick to be in Grace’s life, so why the reticence to introduce them to each other? Granted, Gabby was a little dull and on the stand-offish side, but he would never tell that to his partner. Gabby was a nice girl, and both Danny and Grace deserved someone like her in their lives, and not someone who chased danger, outran trouble, attracted gunfire, and fed on adrenaline like he did. Steve was wise enough to know when to stand down. And as much as it hurt, he knew that it was time to let go.

Placing his beer on the table, he addressed his partner. “Listen to me. Go over there,” he instructed Danny.

His partner’s eyebrows were lowered in consternation as he shot back, “This is _my_ controlled environment, okay? Not yours. Huh?”

Steve mimed locking his lips closed with a key and held his hands up in surrender. “Not a word. Not a word! I’m-I’m done.” _With everything except drinking enough alcohol to get through the rest of this night,_ he added silently.

“Now I feel like going over there, okay?” Danny answered defensively. “Under my own, uh, you know, what have you.”

Steve smiled carefully and replied, “All right.”

As Danny left the table to approach his daughter and girlfriend, Steve smiled for the benefit of his audience and very carefully did not watch Danny as he interacted with the two ladies. He distracted himself by talking with Chin, Kono, Max, and Kamekona, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the three of them kneeling in the sand while making a butterfly out of shells. They looked good together, the three of them. Like a real family. And even though his heart was breaking inside, he couldn’t stop the genuine smile from crossing his face. Danny looked happier than he had in months, and that alone was worth all the heartache and missed opportunities in the world.

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch. The friends had a great time, eating and drinking, while laughing and teasing each other good-naturedly. Sure, Steve may have ended up drinking more than he should, but who cared? It wasn’t like he had big plans for the weekend. There were no cases on the docket, and barring an unexpected phone call, his weekend stretched out before him like a lonely, desolate wasteland.

As Chin pulled up into Steve’s driveway to drop him off that night, the native man asked, “You okay, brah? You need some help inside?”

Steve waved off his concern and unbuckled his seat belt. “I’m good, Chin, thanks. I, uh, appreciate the ride home. I guess I didn’t realize how much I had to drink,” he admitted ruefully.

Chin’s exotic eyes studied him in that shrewd, calculating way of his. “I’m not talking about the beer, Steve. I’m talking about everything else.”

Steve blew him off with a rude noise. “What? What else could possibly be wrong? We closed the case, and everyone is good. I’m good. So, it’s all good, yeah?”

Chin sighed heavily and looked down as if searching for the right words. “Listen, Steve. I’ve held my tongue for a very long time. I know this is none of my business, but I was there that night on your lanai. No matter how drunk we all were, I still remember that kiss you and Danny shared that night. No matter that it was only because you lost the game, it was still real. You and Danny have something between the two of you, but something happened to keep it from progressing into more.”

Steve felt sweat pop out on his forehead at his friend’s words. “It was just a stupid bet, Chin. Nothing more, nothing less. Danny and I are friends and partners, and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

The muscle in Chin’s jaw jumped as he clenched his teeth. “Because of Gabby,” he guessed rightly.

Steve rubbed his face wearily. He was so tired of hiding and fighting against reality, but it had become second nature to him now. “I’m happy for him, Chin. Gabby is a good person and Danny deserves to be with someone who can offer him the kind of support and foundation he needs to raise Grace. She’s the best choice for him.”

“I’m not arguing any of that,” Chin conceded. “But I can’t help but worry about how this is effecting you. I’m worried about you, brah. The past six months have been hard on you, and I understand that. But, Steve, you look like a shadow of your former self now. You’ve lost weight and muscle mass, and you’re eating less and drinking more. You spend too much time alone. That’s not healthy, my friend. That’s loneliness and sorrow.”

Each word struck Steve like an arrow through his chest. He knew Chin was right, but there was nothing he could do to change things now. He had waited too late. Danny had moved on, and now Steve had to figure out how to do the same.

Steve opened the door to the Mustang and prepared to step out as he replied, “I appreciate your concern, Chin, but I’m fine. Me and Danny are just fine. Things have been a little crazy and hectic lately, but all I need is a little rest, and a weekend of being lazy around the house is just what the doctor ordered.” When Chin just shot him a dubious look, Steve beat a hasty retreat. “Thanks again for the ride, man. I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?”

With a heavy sigh, Chin agreed and pulled away after waiting until Steve had made it safely inside his house. After closing the door behind him, Steve wobbled across the room to turn the TV on before he headed for the stairs. It was funny, Steve thought as he stripped down to climb in the bed, that he couldn’t sleep without the TV on anymore. Something about the canned laughter and cheesy sales pitches lulled him to sleep even better than the sound of the ocean.

By Sunday afternoon, Steve was going stir-crazy. He’d done everything he could think of to do over Saturday and Sunday morning. First, he finished cleaning up the unholy mess his partner had left in the house while he was house-sitting during Steve’s week of A.T. That didn’t take too long, though, because the man had been good to his word about cleaning up and washing the sheets. After that, he’d begun the arduous task of finally cleaning out each room in his dad’s- no, _his_ house, including taking several trips to the Salvation Army store to deliver boxes of his dad’s clothes. Except for the police uniforms. Those, he packaged up carefully in tissue paper and sealed inside vacuum bags to place in the attic. As he had worked, he had turned up the radio to full blast to drown out the silence while he packed up old books, magazines, knick-knacks, and other assorted items that held no sentimental value. By the time he was done, it was past midnight on Saturday, and he crashed into the bed with exhaustion.

He spent most of Sunday morning in the ocean, swimming and kicking around as he waited for the interminably long day to be over. But even he could stay in the ocean only so long before he was forced to head back to the house and hunt for something else to do. That was when he decided to open the garage and tinker with the Marquis to pass the time.

That was where he still was that evening around suppertime when he heard the familiar growl of the Camaro’s engine pulling into his driveway. He pulled his head out from under the hood, and grabbed an old cloth to wipe the grease off his hands as Danny came strolling into the garage with to-go containers of Chinese food in his hands.

“Hey, man,” Steve hailed his friend with surprise. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again until tomorrow.”

Danny shrugged and offered a half smile. “Well, knowing you as I do, I figured you hadn’t eaten yet, and it was shame to let all this excellent Kung Pao chicken go to waste.”

Steve’s stomach chose that moment to growl loudly as the scent of soy sauce, cooked meat, and fried rice hit his nose. He frowned at the realization that he hadn’t eaten at all yet that day, and his body was letting him know about it in the noisiest way possible. “Thanks, buddy. It smells great. But, uh, I figured you would be with Grace and Gabby tonight.” So he was fishing for information. Sue him.

“Subtle, babe,” Danny called him out as they entered the kitchen from the garage. “Real subtle. For your information, I took Grace back to Rachel’s an hour ago, and Gabby had to work at the museum this weekend. Besides, since when do I need an excuse to hang out with you?”

Steve just shrugged and pulled some plates out of the cabinet as Danny opened the containers of food. His hand shook as he held the plate out for Danny to dish out the shrimp fried rice and chicken, and he could see the muscle clench in Danny’s jaw when the man noticed.

If he thought Danny would ignore it, he was terribly mistaken. “What’s the deal, Steven? Have you even eaten at all today?”

Steve could feel heat climbing up his face as he sat at the table with his steaming plate of food. “It’s no big deal, Danny. I’ve been busy. I don’t do it on purpose.”

Danny dropped his plate on the table with a loud clatter, and Steve winced as granules of rice jumped ship to scatter across the pristine surface. “It’s no big deal?” Danny replied incredulously. “It’s no big deal, he says. Steven, not eating all day is a very big deal, especially for someone as active as you. I thought you were a smart guy. You know what happens when you expend energy without replacing it with fuel.”

Steve ducked his head and shoveled a huge forkful of chicken in his mouth so he wouldn’t have to answer. Danny blew air out of his nose and collapsed in the chair to attack his own plate with angry clinks of his fork against the plate. They continued like that in silence, the only noises being the sound of chewing and the scraping of the plates. Steve knew that Danny was shooting him with angry looks, but he just kept his eyes on his rapidly dwindling supper and focused on filling the empty, aching need inside him with Kung Pao chicken.

Even after eating seconds, which Danny none-too-gently forced on him, Steve still felt hollow inside. He took his time washing the dishes and wrapping up the leftovers, but no amount of stalling was going to prevent his partner from unloading on him.

As if reading his mind, Danny exploded, “What the hell is the matter with you, Steve? Have you even looked in the mirror lately? Your cheeks are practically sunken, for God’s sake!” He marched over and flung the door open to the refrigerator. “Look at this! There’s nothing even in here except for beer, a sad, wilted head of lettuce, and an old pineapple that is currently hosting a colony of mold. I know you think you’re Superman and all, but even Clark Kent had the good sense to eat!”

Steve bristled under Danny’s attack. “It was one day, Danny. Stop blowing this out of proportion.”

Danny was fairly vibrating with anger as he fished his phone out of his pocket and angrily began tapping on the screen. “Blowing this out of proportion? Let me just prove my point.” He grabbed Steve by the arm and practically dragged him to the hall bathroom until they were standing in front of the mirror. Holding up his phone, he showed Steve a picture of the two of them that Grace had snapped on Danny’s phone during one of her visits when Danny had still been living with him. “Take a good hard look at this picture, babe.”

Steve humored Danny reluctantly. They were on the beach behind his house, and the sun was reflecting off the blonde of Danny’s hair. The shorter man had his arm flung around Steve’s shoulder and they were both laughing. Steve’s heart lurched at the happy picture they made together, but Danny wasn’t done with him yet.

Gripping the taller man’s chin in his hand, he forced Steve to stare in the mirror at his reflection. “Now, look at yourself, Steve, and try to tell me that you look just as healthy and happy. I dare you to lie to me.”

Steve studied his reflection closely in the mirror. Even with his tanned skin, he looked pale and gaunt and the dark circles under his eyes gave testimony to his many sleepless nights. Between the silence of his house, nightmares about watching Jenna die, and memories of each time he had kissed his partner, Steve was lucky to clock four hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. Grudgingly, he admitted to himself that he may have lost a little weight, and sure, his pants and shirts didn’t fit as snugly as they used to, but he hardly looked anorexic. Just as he thought, Danny was blowing this out of proportion.

He jerked his chin out of Danny’s grip and walked out of the bathroom without speaking. He knew Danny was fuming as he followed Steve back to the kitchen, but Steve ignored him in his pursuit of retrieving a beer and popping the cap. After a few deep swallows, he wiped his mouth and said, “Look, I appreciate your concern, but I’m just fine. Besides, you’ve got better things to worry about than me. Why don’t you go meddle in someone else’s life? Don’t you have a girlfriend to go home to?”

Danny rocked back on his heels and clenched his fists. “Is that what this is all about? Are you fucking kidding me, Steven?”

Steve scowled and retorted, “Of course not. I like Gabby. She’s good for both you and Grace. You made the right choice, Danny, and I approve whole-heartedly.”

His partner was shaking with fury as he seethed, “Who said I was the one that made that choice, Steve? In fact, for the past two years, I’ve been waiting for you to make a decision of your own, but when that didn’t happen, I had no choice but to move on. And now that I have tried to do that, you’re literally falling apart right in front of me. What the fuck am I supposed to do with that, huh?”

Steve cringed as Danny brought the heart of the matter right out into the open. The man was right, but that didn’t mean that Steve had to admit it, even if he didn’t try to pretend that he didn’t know what Danny was alluding to. “It was never the right time, Danny. So much shit has happened over the last two years, and it just…just didn’t happen. It’s for the best, though, right? Gabby is perfect for you. She can be the calm in the storm, the quiet place you and Grace can go to get away from the craziness of our jobs, and she can help you build a real life and a real family. That’s what you need, Danny, and I can’t give you that. I don’t know how.”

Danny’s legs ate up the distance between them until he stood before Steve with his nostrils flared and chest heaving. His finger drilled a hole in Steve’s chest as he snarled, “You do _not_ get to make that decision for me, Steve. I know you think you’re God, but you don’t get to sit back and decide what’s best for me or for Grace. I’ve done everything but throw myself naked at your feet, and still you held back even when I knew you wanted me, too. And now, what? You’re wallowing in your selfless martyrdom because of some misguided notion that you know what’s best for me? Fuck you, Steven. Why don’t you do us all a favor and crawl down off your cross and actually do something about it for once?”

As Danny’s words poured over him like hot lava, Steve felt his own temper snapping. In a move reminiscent of their first confrontation, Steve snatched Danny’s hand and pulled the man into his chest and slammed his lips down over his partner’s. His hands bracketed the man’s face to hold him prisoner as he poured out all the anger, resentment, and loneliness into a kiss that was more a punishment than anything else. He plunged his tongue into Danny’s mouth, pillaging and raiding without mercy. He bit and sucked at the man’s lips until he was able to draw a desperate whine from the detective’s throat. Danny’s hands were fisted in Steve’s tee shirt and he tried valiantly to keep up with the fury and passion that Steve poured into him with his teeth, lips, and tongue.

He didn’t know how long it took for his sanity to prevail, but when it did, he stumbled away from Danny and ran a shaking hand over his face. “Fuck,” he cursed. “I’m sorry, Danny. I shouldn’t have done that.”

When Danny didn’t speak, Steve chanced a glance at his partner. Danny looked shell-shocked and grim. He was breathing heavily, his tee shirt straining across his wide, muscled chest, and Steve idly thought the man had never looked so fuckable as he did in that moment. As if coming out of a trance, Danny pivoted on his heel, snatched his car keys off the table, and stalked out the door without another word.

 

*************************

Several hours later, Steve lay in the bed and stared at his ceiling as the sound of the TV clashed with the pounding of the surf. Logically, he knew it was still too early to go to bed, but he couldn’t seem to make himself do anything else. He just wanted to lay there and feel empty. He had gotten really good at that for the last six months, and even though it was lonely, it was still oddly peaceful to exist in that place where his mind was blank and his eyes saw nothing but the ceiling.

After Danny had left, his stomach had rebelled and he’d had to sprint to the bathroom to throw up everything he had eaten. After brushing his teeth and rinsing his mouth with mouthwash, he had woodenly walked around to flip off the lights and lock the doors. Then, he trudged up the stairs, stripped down to his underwear, and collapsed on the bed. He hadn’t moved from that spot in over two hours, and he had no intention of moving from that spot ever again if he could help it.

The growl of the Camaro coming to a stop in his driveway interrupted his intentional nothingness, but Steve didn’t budge from his spot. He didn’t want to talk to Danny right now. He was too ashamed, too emotionally bereft, to have any energy left to erect those walls right then. Maybe his partner would get the hint and just go away when Steve didn’t answer the door.

But, there was no pounding on the door, angry shouting, or furious chimes of the doorbell. Detachedly, he heard the key turning in the lock and followed his partner’s progress as his footsteps crossed the floor, paused to turn off the TV, and unerringly headed up the steps. Even when Danny stood silhouetted in the doorway, Steve didn’t bother to move. Steve felt the bed give as his partner sat on the edge of his bed to remove his socks and shoes before he stood once more and began to strip off his clothes.  

Steve managed to turn his head when Danny settled next to him on the bed with his head propped up in his hand. They stared at each other for several long moments before Danny broke the silence. “I’m sorry I left like that, Steven. I was afraid that if I stayed even one more minute that I would do something I would regret.” Steve didn’t answer. He just turned his head back so he could stare at the ceiling again. Danny cleared his throat nervously and added, “You going to ask me where I went?”

Steve shook his head no, so Danny continued as if Steve had said yes. “I went to Gabby’s house. It went about as well as I expected it to, which is not well at all. I told her that I cared for her, but that I couldn’t be with her in a relationship, because I was already in one. She didn’t really understand, and I didn’t know how to explain it to her. Hell, it’s been two years and I still don’t understand it myself.”

Steve’s head turned back to face his partner. “You broke up with her? Why would you do that, Danny? You just introduced her to Grace and things were going so well for you.”

Danny huffed a humorless laugh. “You really are clueless, aren’t you? I told you, Steven. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. I get to do that, and I decided that what’s best for me is, well, you.”

Steve could barely make out his partner’s expression in the dim light of the room. His heart was pounding with adrenaline and his eyes blinked rapidly to try to clear away the haze that had descended over him when the man had left for the first time six months ago. “I don’t understand.”

Danny sighed heavily and lay his hand along Steve’s jaw. His thumb rasped through the stubble along his cheekbone as he explained. “Babe, I left earlier because I knew that I had to make the choice for both of us. For some reason, you either can’t or won’t allow yourself to be happy by taking what you wanted, so I knew it was up to me to make it happen. In order for that to happen, I had to end things with Gabby first. I’ve never been a cheater, and I wasn’t about to start now. But if I had stayed, I wasn’t sure I would have been strong enough to resist.”

“Oh,” Steve replied eloquently.

Danny chuckled softly and shook his head. “So, now I’m here, and I’m mostly naked in your bed. I’m not sure what else to do to convince you that I want this. With you.”

Steve took a deep breath and let it back out slowly before he responded quietly, “ _You_ could kiss _me_ this time.”

Danny’s pale blue eyes glittered with the reflection of the moon as he lowered his face to press his lips against Steve’s in an exquisite and tender kiss. The heat of his partner’s body sliding against his burned away the last dregs of lethargy and brought Steve back to life. He took control of the kiss back from Danny and pushed him back into the bed to loom over top of him as he deepened the kiss with increasing fervor. When Danny moaned into his mouth, a tremor of longing chased down Steve’s spine and made him press his body firmly into the muscled, compact form of his partner’s until their hips met with an eager caress.

Distantly, Steve could feel Danny’s hands roaming up and down his back, fingers digging into tense muscles, as they strained against each other and grew frenzied in their desire to touch everywhere. Steve broke away from his partner’s lips and made a beeline for his neck where he nipped and sucked a path downward until he could rub his nose in the soft, downy hair that carpeted the man’s chest. Steve pressed his ear against Danny’s left pec and closed his eyes. His partner’s heart was beating out a steady, rapid rhythm beneath his ear, and Steve thought it was the most beautiful music he had ever heard.

Danny’s fingers carded through Steve’s hair and they held each other tight for a long moment until Danny said, “As nice as this is, babe, I would much rather do this afterwards, you know?”

Steve laughed, his heart feeling lighter than it had in a long time. He turned his head and sucked Danny’s nipple into his mouth before gently gripping it between his teeth until his partner hissed. Just like that, the fire between them was ignited once more. Steve continued to work his way down Danny’s body until he encountered his boxers. He raised up on his knees to pull them down the detective’s legs, then breathed a curse as he got the first look at Danny’s cock. He was so beautiful there. Dark blonde downy curls nestled around the base of his long, thick shaft that was capped by a wide, flared head. Steve sucked in a breath before he let it back out with the same curse once more.

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, babe,” Danny teased him with a strained voice.

“Then I’ll say it again. _Damn_ ,” Steve repeated for the third time as his right hand drifted forward to touch.

A cry ripped from Danny’s throat when Steve engulfed his hard length in his palm and ran his hand gently up and then back down just as slowly. Steve couldn’t resist. He had to taste him, feel him in his mouth, and hear the sounds he could pull from the man’s lips. He tongue landed at the base and he licked a flat, wide stripe up to the tip. He didn’t even pause as he continued to the top where he sucked the crown into his mouth and licked away the drop of fluid pooled there.

“Steve!” Danny cried out, his fingers desperately twining in the SEAL’s dark brunette locks.

This only spurred Steve on more. He sank down over Danny’s cock and worked his hand at the base as he pulled back up. By the time he had made half a dozen passes, Danny was bucking beneath him and cursing a blue streak.

“Babe, come on,” Danny begged. “It’s too soon. Not yet.”

Steve immediately slowed down his movements before pulling back off and blowing a cool stream of air across the glistening surface of Danny’s cock. The man shivered and moaned, his fingers desperately scrabbling to find purchase on Steve’s skin. Steve could no more resist the summons than he could resist racing into danger. Staying away from Danny went against Steve’s nature, and he was done denying himself out of some misguided notion of unworthiness. He didn’t care if he deserved to have Danny anymore. He was taking him anyway.

Steve sank into Danny’s outstretched arms and kept falling until he landed on the cushion of Danny’s lips. They drank from each other’s mouths with deep, passionate kisses until Danny gently pushed on Steve’s shoulders and maneuvered him to his back. Now it was Danny looming over Steve and his gaze was predatory in the reflection of the moon. His hands roamed over Steve’s chest, moving steadily downward, until he encountered the waistband of Steve’s boxer briefs.

“These have got to go,” Danny murmured as he set words to action. Steve raised his hips readily to assist his partner in his endeavor. When Steve was as naked as Danny, the blonde cop sat back on his heels and whistled low. “Fuck, that’s even better than I imagined.”

“You imagined me naked, Danny?” Steve teased lightly.

“All the fucking time, you asshole,” Danny answered without heat. He ran his hand over Steve’s gorgeous, thick cock and breathed, “As badly as I want to return the favor, I can’t wait much longer. Do you have stuff?”

Steve swallowed his stomach before it could escape his throat and nodded. “Drawer. Table,” he blurted, surprised he could string even those two words together.

Danny made short work of retrieving a condom and a bottle of lubricant. “How do you want to do this, babe? I can go either way,” Danny insisted with a reassuring squeeze of his hand on Steve’s leg.

Steve froze and wrestled with himself over how to answer. He knew what he wanted this first time, but he still hesitated to reveal so much of himself, even to Danny. As if the man could read his mind, Danny whispered, “Whatever you want, okay, Steven? You got to know by now that I would never hurt you.”

Steve blinked rapidly and took a deep breath as he nodded. “You on top,” he whispered, his lips barely moving.

Danny moved his hand to his cock and gripped himself hard at the base as he hissed through his teeth. “Fuck, I was hoping you would say that.”

When Danny had got himself back under control, he flipped the cap on the bottle and drizzled a generous amount of the slippery liquid on his hand. After he closed the bottle and placed it nearby, he distributed the slick between his hands and then placed them on Steve’s body. Danny’s left hand encircled Steve’s shaft as his right fingers swirled over his perineum before moving further back to trace tease at his entrance.

Steve’s hips flexed in order to push his cock through Danny’s slippery grip and he groaned low in his chest. “Jesus, Danny. Come on already,” he demanded with a growl.

“I should have known that you would be the type to top from the bottom,” Danny laughed a little hysterically. Even still, he pushed a finger deep inside Steve’s body with a slippery glide.

Steve moaned and panted at the initial burn, but it faded quickly as his partner moved in and out while his other hand moved up and down. Steve hissed through his teeth when Danny swiftly added a second finger, but refused to let the man stop when he made to pull away. “More, Danny. Please,” Steve begged him, his voice ragged with lust.

With a soft curse, Danny continued thrusting his fingers and stretching them wide to make room for his cock. Steve cried out and thrust his hips up before dropping to impale himself on Danny’s fingers and fought the coil of impending climax even as he chased it. “Please, Danny. That’s enough. _Come on_ ,” he commanded through gritted teeth.

Danny slipped his fingers from Steve’s body and reached for the condom with shaking hands. He slid the thin sheath down over his cock and slicked himself with more lubricant. “Sorry about the covers,” Danny mumbled unnecessarily as he wiped them across the comforter before he sidled his body into the cradle of Steve’s thighs.

He lowered himself to cover Steve’s body with his own and braced himself on his left forearm while his right hand held his cock steady at Steve’s opening. He leaned down to press a deep, sloppy kiss to Steve’s lips before pulling away to whisper raggedly, “You tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve assured him hastily. “I’m good.”

Danny closed his eyes and pressed himself firmly against the tight ring of Steve’s ass until the widest part of his crown slipped inside. Steve gasped and Danny took the breath into his own mouth as he closed his lips over Steve’s. Slowly but steadily, Danny worked himself deeper inside Steve’s ass until he could go no further. Steve’s fingers dug into Danny’s ass, pulling him in a fraction of an inch deeper, and keened at the intense stretch and sensation of fullness. He had been empty for so long, and he reveled in the sensation of Danny filling him up and making him whole.

“Oh, God,” Danny moaned in Steve’s ear. “I’m afraid to move,” he admitted with a breathless, frantic laugh.

Steve started to laugh with him, but the movement sent shockwaves chasing up and down his body until his skin erupted into goosebumps. “You have to, Danny. Come on,” Steve urged him as he pulled his hips back a few inches.

Danny groaned and thrust back in harder, causing them both to curse. “Oh, Jesus,” Danny breathed as his hips began to work in and out of Steve’s ass until the sound of their impact rang through the room.

“Fuck!” Steve bit out. “Just like that,” he encouraged his partner.

Both of Danny’s arms were braced at each side of Steve’s shoulders, so he snuck a hand down to wrap around his own cock and stroked in time with the detective’s thrusts. The sounds of their curses and groans filled the aching silence of Steve’s house as they moved faster and harder against each other. Steve was so close that he was teetering on the edge of ecstasy, and he pursued his climax with laser-focused intensity.

“Come on, babe,” Danny panted as a bead of sweat rolled down his face to land on Steve’s chest. “You gotta go first and I can’t last much longer.”

Steve’s hand squeezed around his cock, and he threw his head back with a cry as he hurled over the edge of the cliff and free-fell into the void of bliss. He came with agonizing bursts all across his stomach as Danny continued to pummel him from below. With one last, deep thrust, Danny swore and growled as he came deep inside Steve’s ass while his body trembled and shook with his release.

Their breaths were deafening in the quiet solitude of Steve’s bedroom. With a groan of complaint, Danny lowered himself to drape over Steve’s chest and burrowed his nose into his lover’s neck. Steve’s free arm automatically hugged the shorter man to him and they lay like that for long minutes as Danny pressed loving, open-mouthed kisses along the expanse of Steve’s throat. The SEAL couldn’t help but to close his eyes and soak in every detail of this perfect moment. He had waited so long for this, thought he would never get it, and now that he had it, he would never let it go again.

“Holy shit, babe,” Danny’s voice was muffled against his skin. “No wonder we waited so long to do that. That was, uh, I don’t even know how to describe that.”

Steve chuckled and squeezed Danny tighter. “I never thought I would see the day when Danny Williams didn’t have a word to say.”

Danny bit Steve lightly on the throat and replied, “With good reason.” He kissed the bite mark lovingly and reluctantly withdrew himself from Steve’s embrace. “Sit tight, babe. I’ll get us cleaned up.”

Less than five minutes later, Danny was back in the bed and under the covers with Steve. They were entwined with each other by arms and legs, and their breaths mingled between their faces. Steve closed the gap and pressed a firm, lingering kiss to Danny’s lips. “Thank you,” he whispered, as if he hadn’t just said it with his kiss.

“For what, babe?” Danny murmured back.

Steve sighed and replied, “For choosing me. I’m not the best choice, in case you haven’t noticed.”

Danny pulled Steve closer and snuggled into the pillow of the SEAL’s shoulder. “You’re right. You were the only choice I’ve ever had since I met you.”

As his partner drifted off to sleep in his arms, Steve’s brain refused to shut down. Instead, it spun out of his control as it wove dreams and ideas and goals about his future with Danny. Maybe he could even get the stubborn man to move back in with him. He had already cleaned out the spare bedroom the day before, so it would be easy as pie to make Grace a bedroom. As he closed his eyes to drift off into sleep, he thought confidently, _N_ _ot yet. But soon._

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Well, that was exhausting. I'm sorry for any slips of editing. I'll try to clean it up on the read through after I've crashed for about ten hours. Hope you liked this emotional foray into Steve's complicated and complex thought process. As we say in the South, "Bless his heart."***


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